hurt but never broken
by Xxvicky2freshxX
Summary: bella has been abused by Phill for 6yrs after he kills her mom she gets away and goes 2 forks but soon starts to get abused by charlie bella had enough n wants to end it can Edward save he in time be4 its too late? cullens are vampires E/B J/A Em/R C/Es
1. prologue

**Hey readers this is my first fan fiction please be nice **

**I'm new to this but please enjoy **

**-Vicky =]**

Prologue

_Dear readers,_

_Hi, My name is Isabella Marie Swan _

_I'm 17 years old. I live with my father Charlie here in Forks W.A. I moved out here about 3 months ago ._

_I lived in Phoenix Arizona with my mother and step dad. My was murdered by a "robber" that broke into our house, but I know the truth. My step dad Phil killed her. When my mom and Phil got married he became abuses to my mother and one day he went to far and shot her. Since that dad Phil started beating me and doing other things to me I rather not say. I lived through this for 6 years, how I made it through I will never know but I got away. I left one hell just to walk right into another. I moved here with Charlie at first he was happy to see me but it wasn't long before he started drinking. That's when he started beating me too. Its been going on for 3 months now and I'm tired of it all. I'm ready to throw in the towel I cant take it no more, I'm through with it. I'm hurt and broken there's nothing more for me to do but die. So I'm going to jump off this cliff into the angry dark pool of water known as the ocean. On to of this cliff is the most peaceful way to die…_

_Always Bella_

I got done writing my letter and taped it in the center of the cross I made for myself. I also taped a picture of me and my mom when I was 10, we were at my favorite restaurant called La' Bella Italian. That was when we where happy. I also put my journal along with my teddy bear jelly bean by the cross. I looked my cross to make sure everything was in place, my eyes got stuck on the picture of me and mom. I promised myself I wasn't going to cry because this was for the best but I couldn't hold back the tears any longer. I was now in a full blown sob, I fell to the grown and brought my knees to my chest and put my head in between my knees and cried. I don't know how long I was sitting like that but once I was all out of tears I got up to do what I was here to do. I went to the edge of the cliff. I didn't look down because I knew I would chicken out so I looked to the sky. " Well God here I am once again but this time I'm not praying for help, I'm actually at peace. After this I will be with you and my mom. I'm sorry I'm ending it like this but really I have no other choice. I just hope I'm welcome in Heaven with you, Thank you"

I closed my eyes to think about everything that has happen to me in my life. I became pretty good at blocking these memories of my past and just focus on the present. The only good thing that came out of moving to Forks was Edward and the Cullens they seemed to be the only ones who cared about me why? Ill never know. I'm sorry me and Edward couldn't get to know each other better I really like him. And I never ever felt that way for a guy. Now it's time to face the past it's now or never. I went straight to the beginning when it was just me and my mom…..

**Hope you guys liked it!!! Review and tell me what u think. I like suggestions =]]**


	2. the beginning of the past

**Chapter 1 "the beginning of the past"**

**For as long as I can remember it has always been me and my mom. I know about Charlie my dad, she said she left him when I was 3. When I ask why she never answered me so I would just leave it alone. I don't really care too much I figured if she left him and he let her go along with me and didn't try to stop her, than he must not really care too much. He doesn't call or write so why should I care? He doesn't so whatever. My mom name is Rene she is my best friend well my only friend really but it doesn't matter because she all I need. We live in a small two bedroom 2 bath little house in Phoenix Arizona. I love it here. My mom and I do everything together like I said she my best friend. I tell her about everything life at school, my crushes, the little friends I do have, everything. She really all I need and all I have since most of everybody at school and in our neighborhood thinks I'm a odd ball. They think I'm weird since I don't have a dad. I use to get picked on but now the kids at school just don't pay attention to me. I really don't care they don't matter. My mom and I spend all out time together doing different things our favorite place to go is La' Bella Italian restaurant. We use to go all the time but since Rene doesn't really know how to cook, but I learned how a little while ago. I guess you can say I'm the adult in our relationship, Rene acts like a little kid sometimes. A little after my 9th**** birthday Rene started spending more time this guy named Phil he's cool I guess. He take my mom and I out a lot. Its been about a year now since he came into our life. **

**Its my 10****th**** birthday now and I'm just waiting for my mom to come into my room screaming happy birthday. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY BELLA!" I knew it would come. Rene came up to me while I was laying down on my bed jumping up and down smiling. I sat up on my bed and rubbed my eyes I couldn't help but grin at my mother she is such a kid. Rene gave me a big hug and said happy birthday again.**

"**I have a surprise for you my sweet Bella" I frowned I hate surprises and she knows that. **

"**mom you know I…" she cut me off " that's enough I don't want to hear it now open your presents that me and Phil got you and later today we are going to La Bella Italian so we can celebrate your birthday and I can tell you my surprise" I was dumb founded what did she mean about surprises I though she just gave them to me wasn't the two presents the surprise? " Wait mom I thought the two presents was the surprise". Rene looked at me like I was crazy " sweetie you know I get you presents every year now why would this year be any different?" well I guess she right then what is the surprise she has to me, great that's going to be on my mind all day. " now get cleaned up and dressed then come down stairs, I have breakfast made for you" that's not good Rene cant cook " oh mom you didn't have to" she just smiled at me and left my room. Before I got up I remember I didn't open my presents. The first one I opened was a black journal with a gold trim and gold letters on the top that said " Bellas journal". I never thought about keeping a journal to write in I guess it's a good idea. I open the journal and there was a note from Rene on the first page. **

**Dear sweet Bella,**

**I know your wondering why I got you a journal. Well I got it for you because your getting older and you might not want to tell me everything any more. So now you can write all your deepest darkest secrets in here, and there's always that possibility that I might not be here for very long you never know what could happen. But you will always have this journal cherish it for a very long time. I love you baby**

**Love, Mom**

**Well that was sweet of her. I don't really know what she meant by I might not be here for very long. I always imagine Rene being here with me forever. If anything happen to her I don't know what I would do. I don't even want to think about it too depressing. I open the next present Rene and Phil got me and it was a cute little teddy bear. He was all white with brown eyes and a bow around hid neck and on his stomach was a big heart that said hug me so I did, when I hug the teddy bear it said I love you and it was in my mothers voice that brought tears to my eyes. I decided to name him jelly bean. I knew I would keep these presents until the day I die.**

**I took a shower and got dressed I dressed in my white and blue converse and my gray skinny jeans and to top it off my favorite shirt it was white with blue music notes all over it. I love this shirt because I love music. I love to write songs and play the piano. My mom put me in piano lessons when I was 6, at first I didn't like it but now I cant live with out my piano. I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard Rene call for me well really yelled for me **

" **Isabella get down here your food is getting cold!" I sighed and walked sown the stairs, and of coursed I tripped on the last step. I fell and hit my head on the floor, just great I'm going to have a bump on my head on my birthday. **

"**Bella sweetie you need to be more careful here put this on your head" Rene handed me and ice pack, she was pretty much use to my clumsiness I muttered thank you and put the ice pack on my head. I don't really like it when my mom tries to play the mother role, but she is the mother and I'm the child even if its sometime switched around. I've been taking care of Rene for a long time, that's why I act older than my real age. In the end I'm still a kid. I sat down Rene put my breakfast in front of me it looked pretty good so I started eating….**

**Through out he day me and Rene did our normal routine that we started over the summer, now we only do it on the weekend since I started school. we did our scrap booking than we worked in our garden and after that we decided to go to the park with a pond and feed the ducks. We took a picnic basket so we can have lunch in the sun and just talk. Around 4 we left and came home. About an hour after we got home Phil came through the door.**

" **HAPPY BIRTHDAY ISABELLA!" ugh I hate it when he calls me that. I forced a smile **

"**thank you Phil". Phil walked over to my mom and gave her a peck on the cheek and gave her a hug. I watch my mom closely and I notice she wince a little when he hugged her. She also had a kind of scared look on her face I wonder what that's about. Ill ask her later. Rene looked at me and gave me small smile.**

"**Bella sweetie are you ready to go eat ?" she knew I saw the look on her face " umm yea I guess" she smiled and went to go get her purse and keys. " you guys have fun" I looked at Phil a ;little confused I though he was going. Oh well it doesn't matter me and Rene has more fun together anyways. "bye I guess" I told Phil, he just laughed and went to sit on the couch and watch a baseball game. When we where in the car I ask Rene why Phil wasn't coming she just shrugged so I dropped it…. We where sited in our normal booth Rene smiled at me but I know it was forced something was wrong, but what? " mom wh-" before I could finish Rene started talking "Bella I have something to tell you its about the surprise I was telling you about earlier". I looked at Rene I could tell something was wrong. What was going on with my mom. " okay what is it?"**


	3. Surprise

**Chapter 2 "surprises"**

I waited for Rene to start, she heisted for a minute then she began. "Well Bella you know me and Phil have been seeing each other for a year now yesterday was our year mark and so yesterday Phil purposed to me and I said yes". I didn't know what to say. It's going to change everything. I'm not mad I want my mom to be happy. Sheesh some surprise, I looked at Rene and for some reason she didn't look as happy as a woman should when their getting married. I realized Rene was waiting for my response. "That's great mom I'm so happy for you" I forced a big smile for her but when I looked at Rene her smile was forced as well. What is going on here why isn't she acting like her normal self? it's like my response wasn't the one she wanted maybe she not happy about getting married and doesn't want things to change either, then why would she say yes to Phil? Maybe she just nerves because her first married didn't work out. She just scared it wont work, I'm sure that's it poor Rene.

For the rest of the night we talked about different things and ate then we headed home. Phil was sleep on the couch where we left him. I went straight to my room to think. Rene came in about 30 minutes later ti tuck me in and talk. I wasn't really up for talking so I pretended I was sleep. She just kissed me on my forehead and I guess looked at me for a while and left. Minutes later I was sleep.

* * *

2 years later!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I woke up from another nightmare I been having the same one for awhile now. It started about a year after Rene and Phil got married. Its usually the same dream its starts with Phil beating Rene to a pulse then coming after me then the scene changes and I'm running in a forest screaming trying to get away from Phil. I run into a brick wall it seems but when I look up its one of the most beautiful guys I ever seen he has the most breath taking topaz eyes and bronze hair. Even though his face is a little blurry you can still tell he is beautiful. After looking into each others eyes for what seems forever he looks up from me, his eyes turn a very dark black as he focus on something in the distance. Then I remember Phil is chasing me so I run and hide behind the mystery guy. I look at the guy to see what he is going to do but he doesn't really look like a boy anymore but something more dangerous. He looked ready to kill whatever got in his way. I guess I should have been scared of him but I just couldn't find any fear I felt safe with him. I was more scared of Phil than any thing. The boy went into a defense crouch and I'm sure I heard a low growl come from inside his chest. Phil came into the clearing me and mystery man was in, Phil had a devilish smile on his face it gave me goose bumps. Phil started running towards us and I couldn't stop shaking. In a blink of and eye mystery by wasn't by me any more but right in front of Phil holding him by the neck. I knew what the guy was about to do, rip Phil from limb to limb and I could bring myself to watch and that's when I wake up.

I sat up in bed thinking about my dream and who this buy could be, than I hear shouting and screaming coming from Phil and Rene. isn't it a bit too early to be doing this. I looked at my clock and saw it was 10:00 in the morning and that it was September 13 I over slept. Wow its my birthday how can I forget something like that? Maybe because Rene didn't come wake me like she usually does what's going on where is she? " PHIL ITS OVER IM GETTING A DEVORSE! ME AND BELLA ARE LEVING I CANT TAKE IT NO MORE!". I was so happy to hear those words but I knew what was coming next. Then I heard it a big SMACK then Rene falling to the ground crying out in pain. Yep you guessed it Phil hits Rene. Well really he beats her, almost every night. It started when they got married nearly to years ago, but I think its started before that. I never had the courage to ask my mom about it though. If I knew Phil was like this I would have never agreed to her marring him.

"I RATHER HAVE YOU DEAD THAN LEAVE ME! SO WHATS IT GONNA BE STAY WITH ME OR DIE?!" I heard Phil say. Oh no this cant be good. As I got up to stop the fight I heard the words I would dread for the rest of my life my mom said "I rather die" that's cant be she would do that to me. With that being said I heard the gun BANG BANG BANG! With those three gun shots my heart slipped out of my body and I fell to the floor. I lied down on the ground in fetal position with my arms wrapped around my knees and cried. I had a feeling I was going to be crying a lot for a very long time…… Phil left and I got up to see my mom. I got down the stairs to see Rene in the middle of the living room in a pool of blood.

"MOM!" I ran up to her with tears falling down my face. I didn't know what to do. "Bella" my mom called out to me in a small voice "Bella sweetie" I went to Rene and kneeled beside her. She was looking for me though her eyes where barley open "I'm right here mom I'm not leaving you, so please don't leave me mom your all I have" I was holding Rene hands rubbing it softly with my thumb.

"Bella I love you and I'm so sorry I got you into this (cough) it was perfect just me and you (cough) I'm so sorry baby I love you with all my heart (cough) Bella make sure you go into my (cough) room and grab all my money its in my purse (cough) go into my closet and look at the top for a box with you name on it (cough) look through it don't let Phil find it sweetie, I'm sorry baby I love you soo much" Rene started to cough a lot and finally she stop breathing. My mom the only person I love, the only person the means something to me, my one and only friend, best friend was taken from me forever leaving me by myself, living with a murder. I cant believe this is happening. I manage to get myself up from the ground and went straight to Rene room. I found the money in her purse there was about $500 dollars in it so I took that and the pictures of us she had in her wallet. I went to the closet and found the box she was talking about, I took everything I got from Rene's room and went to my room. I closed and locked my door and sat down on the floor and looked through the box. On top was a letter from Rene I took a deep breath and started reading.

My sweet Bella

If your reading this then it must of finally happen. Phil went to far and killed me.

You have no idea how sorry I am sweetie….

I didn't have to time to finish Phil came home "Bella!" what does he want. I have never in my life hated a person but now I cant even describe how much hate I have for him. I had to think fast on where to put this stuff before Phil comes in my room looking for me. I hurried and put everything under my floor. There's a part in the floor bored where I can lift it up and put things in it so that's where I hid the things from Rene. Phil was at my door now so I put the bored in place. Phil came storming into my room, o knew he was drunk I could tell by the way he was swaying side to side. "What the hell do u think your doing?" I think I know where this is going, should I even answer him? "umm na na na nothing Phil" he had this evil look on his face and I was frighten instantly, this cant be good. "Why isn't my dinner done"

What ? Hwy would dinner be done its not even 12 yet. "um be because its only the afternoon" right after that I felt a sting on the side of my face. He slapped me!!! "did I ask you if it was the afternoon? No now get the hell up". I didn't listen to him, I figured if I stay down here he will leave me alone. Boy was I wrong. "I said get the hell up you stupid whore!!" I looked at him with tears on the brim of my eyes how could he call me that I'm only 12, I haven't even kissed a boy yet how could I be a whore? I still didn't get up and that just made Phil even more mad he grabbed me by my hair I screamed out in pain but tried to hold my tears back. I didn't want to give him the pleasure of seeing me cry. He pulled me up still holding on to my hair and slapped me again in the face but more harder this time and I couldn't hold back my tears any more I had to cry. I want my mom so bad I cant do this. I fell to the ground again, I felt a pain on my side it hurt like nothing I felt before. I open my eyes to see Phil kicking me in my ribs. That pain was unbearably then I heard a crack and felt the pain moments later. "STOP IT" I tried to force out but Phil didn't listen. He just picked me up and banged my head in the mirror on my wall. I could feel the warm liquid falling down my neck from the back of my head. I started to see black spats on the side of my vision. Good I hope I'm dieing. I prayed to God to make it stop I cant take it no more. Phil hit me one more time and walked out my room. I let the darkness take me.

When I woke up the nest morning well more like the next after noon, I didn't remember a thing other than the pain. It all came rushing back to me and I realized my mom is gone for good and I started to cry. After crying for what seems like hours I went to the bathroom to clean myself up, take a shower and everything. I walked pass the mirror and hardly recognized myself. I had bruises everywhere and dried blood around my ears and neck. I lifted up my shirt and there was a big bruise on my side where my ribs are, I touched it and nearly fell out in pain it hurt that bad it must be broken. I have to go to the hospital but how do I explain all this to the doctor I cant lie but I cant tell them about Phil. Well if I'm going to do something I have to do it fast before Phil gets home……….I waited in the hospital room for the doctor to come and treat my injuries, while waiting I came up with a pretty good story I though should work. I was just going to tell her I got jumped or something. The doctor came in, she seem pretty young to be a doctor, she was really pretty.

" Hello Isabella how are you?" she is very nice I just hope she doesn't get too noisy. "um I prefer Bella and other than the pain from my injuries I'm pretty good" of course I lied there's no way I could tell how I really felt. The doctor smiled at me and I tried to smile back but it didn't feel right. "well Bella how about you call me Cathy" I tried to smile again but it wouldn't come so I just nodded my head. "okay well how about we get to business" I nodded at her again in confirmation that I it was okay since I really didn't feel like talking. "okay Bella I'm going to need you to take your shirt off" I hesitated first I wasn't sure if I really wanted to do that I haven't had a chance to really look at my body yet. "we're both girls he there's nothing to be scared off" Cathy tried to reassure me but it didn't really help. I just sucked in a hesitant breath and took my shirt off. I looked at Cathy's face real closely and I saw how her eyes got wide when my shirt was fully off. I didn't even want to look down. Cathy started to rub against my rib cage and it hurt a whole lot. I gasped at the pain. "Okay Bella it seems you have 1 broken rib and 3 really bruised ones now you said the back of your head was bleeding?" I just nodded my head at her again. "Alright let me check that too"

Cathy moved behind me and started to move her fingers down the back of my head once her fingers grazed across the cut it started to throb and the pain came again. "Oh my Bella, it looks like you have a big gash in your skull now you know you can tell me what happen and I legally cant say anything. Would you like to tell me what happen?" I was hoping she wouldn't ask me that I dint want to tell her the lie she is a very nice lady and lying to her just seems wrong, but Phil I don't want to come after me. " I already told the nurse what happen, I got jumped by some teenagers on my way home from the store I think they were drunk" I kept my head down so she couldn't see my face and see I was lying. I took a quick glance at her and she was looking at me like she wanted to say something but changed her mind. "Okay well your medicine is at the pharmacist and you can just go pick it up, and if there is anything you need or you just want to talk I am here all day everyday okay sweetie" I nodded my head not trusting my voice. I knew if I talk it would brake I need to get out of here before the tears come. Nobody has ever called my sweetie other than my mom. I put my shirt back on and started to leave but Cathy stopped me before I left. "wait Bella you need an adult to sigh you out, you cant just leave" and with that she gave me a small smile. Great how am I going to get Phil down here? I'm screwed.


End file.
